"Relay"? I thought they said," Free Play".

What's up Honkies? I'm "Old Bob". What do you mean I don't belong here? I meet the profile (WINK WINK)! Oooooooo one of you guys are in trouble here comes security!

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesnt belong, can you tell me which thing is not like the other, before I finish this song. LOL

In lane two we have Michael Phelps of the USA ready to perform in his tenth Olympic games.

It looks like this is going to be a close race, we have some of our best competitors here. In lane two we have a newcomer who arrived after accidents in training this morning and he's filling in!

"No. Seriously, I am the anchor for the 4 x 400 relay"

Did the IOC say you could skip the drug test too?

The IOC approved my water wings, do you think they will consider my duck and snorkel as Performance Enhancers?

Umm.....where's the tiki bar and the bikinis??

I'm not saying team USA is over achieving, but they sent me hear after seeing you guys

Aren't you the "Triple Lindy" guy?

Hey guys, I'm here under the Olympic affirmative action program and the Americans with Disabilites Act. President Obama decided it was unfair for only highly trained, talented athletes to be rewarded with Olympic glory, so he decided that fat, weak, old people wiht asthma should also be allowed to participate in the medal round.

By the way, the President believes in equality of result, not just equality of opportunity, so I've already been given the Gold Medal, similarly to him receiving the Nobel Peace Prize without having accomplished anything substantial to promote peace.

Enjoy the race for Silver and Bronze, guys!

Oh no, not again! This sleep walking has gotten out of control. The last thing I remember is watching Fox News with my dog K cubed at my trailer. "Old Bob" please tell me that's a Baby Ruth and cream corn in your trunks!

"For the last time Mitt, this is not the equestrian event guest pool!"

"yeah, im the guy that was touching himself a little too vigorously at centennial pool last month."

I know the inflatable duck negates the need for a snorkel, but I am going for a look here.........

Gee! You look a little funny with those hats on!

....this guy looks like Wall Street had their way with him. This is going to be a piece of cake.

....but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!

So this ISN'T the hot tub?

Oh .. sorry .. I thought they said free OLD Style ...

Want me to warm up the pool for ya when I jump in? Do ya? Do ya?

Manaja twa in the deep end?

Start without me. I'll catch up.

They won't let me start. Apparently it's against regulation to swim without a cap.

I'm swimming for East Germany. It took me until now to get here.

I know, I know. No beach balls in the pool.

Am I late for the meeting at the shallow end of the gene pool ?

should have read "just Like We trained for It Right"

really guys is my swim suit ok!

do you ever have that moment when you think you might have over done it

Ya well I guess you know what they say about being prepared

Dose anyone have an air pump!