Babes of the Cell Phone Age: MomTalk Q&A

Last week we took our kids rollerblading at an indoor rink. Many of the girls, most were in the fifth/sixth-grade age range, had cell phones and were either talking or texting on their phones while skating. The phone seemed to be nothing more than a status symbol. One little girl was knocked over by an older girl who was texting and didn't realize the girl was crossing her path.

Everywhere you go, kids are more engrossed in hand-held devices than they are in each other. Communication occurs through their fingertips. Call me old fashioned, but what happened to "Hide-And-Seek," or "Kick the Can?" Am I naive? I don't think so. Just desperately trying to hang on to all the things that made me a child during my childhood and wishing that others would also grasp this fraying rope.

As in so many things, there is a time and place for such devices. So I wondered:  

At what age should a child be allowed to carry a cell phone? And why? What parameters should be established for its use and how do you enforce them?

Here's what the Patch Moms Council had to say.

Deb Melchert, Tinley Park

"My boys are in their 20s, so when they were in the 10- to 12-year-old range, cell phones were nowhere near as prominent as they are today. Our oldest will be 26 in a month. When he was 10, we bought him a pager. Those were more popular at the time. I'm sure most of you have dealt with your child going to a friend's house. When you call the friend's house, you find out they went to another friend's house. I got tired of making a half dozen calls or more to find my son. Hence, the pager. The rules were, he was to call or be home within 10 minutes of being paged. I called it Mom's electronic leash. I will also tell you that most of his friend's Moms thought I was a little crazy and spoiling him. It didn't take long before the calls started coming in asking if I would page Bobby and tell him that so and so's mom said it was time to go home. It wasn't long after that most of his friends had received pagers. They eventually graduated to cell phones in their early teens. The world in general and technology have advanced light years since we bought that pager, as have the perils our children face."

Nabeha Zegar, Orland Park

"Our eldest son, who is in junior high and almost 12 years old, has a cell phone. Our other children, upon entering junior high, will also receive cell phones. My husband and I gave him the phone because we wanted to be able to reach him at any time. He attends after school activities that end at various times and it is a convenient method of communication for us. He uses it responsibly and we haven't had a problem as of yet. We did set down some ground rules upon handing over the phone as well.  He is limited in monthly minutes and does not have internet access on his line. If I were having a problem with him being distracted by texting, I would simply remove texting from that line. If I noticed that any of my children were not using their privilege of having a phone responsibly, I would simply take the phone away temporarily and if the behavior persists, permanently."

Felicitas Cortez, Orland Park

"Junior high school seems to be the right time for kids to carry a cell phone, at least that’s the case in our household. It made sense since our sons were involved in school activities and extracurricular sports programs that made it easier to organize pick-up times and location. At that age, they also started going out with friends, so it made it very convenient to contact or check up on them via the cell phone. Our fourth grade daughter, on the other hand, is already salivating for one but for no other reason than many of her friends already have cell phones. Regardless, my husband and I are holding strong to our junior high cutoff. While this rule is fine for our family, it may not be so for others. Some families I know choose to give cell phones to their much younger children who attend summer camps or after school day care. It gives them better access to their children as well as a sense of assurance. More important than the age requirement, parents should consider implementing strong parameters on cell phone use. Limitations on texting and photo or video access should be set, as well as explained. If kids really want the extra services, or have their sights on a smart phone, then they should be asked to contribute financially to the phone plan or perhaps be given extra household chores. We’ve taught our sons that owning a cell phone is a privilege that can easily be taken away due to misuse, poor grades or bad attitudes. From our experience, the threat of taking away a cell phone trumps any form of disciplinary action."

Next week's topic: What's the best way to handle bullying at home and at school?

Patch's Moms Council addresses issues on the minds of parents, debates the pros and cons, and offers advice. Look for MomTalk Q&A every Wednesday at 1 p.m.