I agree with your friend that Moms should participate in a capacity that suits their lifestyle. Unfortunately, these SUPERMOMS think that everyone around them should be overcommitted too! You just don't know what's really going on behind closed doors in someone else's home. They, like your friend, could have other children who have medical needs or disabilities that require them to be at home more often and tend to the needs of those children. You just don't know. Maybe another Mom is very involved in volunteering at another organization or church. You just don't know. Maybe another Mom is going through a difficult season in her life and needs to sort that out before being able to give of herself in a volunteer position. You just don't know. Maybe that Mom works from home but doesn't boast about it and she really needs the extra income. You just don't know. I think we all need to stop judging others before really finding out about them and what's going on in their lives. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW!

This is a problem because these bored soccer moms think they are way more important than they are. Some parents in this area think they all belong to some superior class that entitles them to tell others what to do. Being involved in your child's life is important, but it should not be a stage on which they display their dominance. The fact that they drew up a board and score card shows that they really have nothing important going on in their lives and that they take their tiny shred of power far too seriously.

Volunteering for your child's school in ANY capacity is greatly appreciated. I think volunteering in a classroom should be coordinated with the teacher - NOT dictated by a parent. People should volunteer in a capacity that suits them AND their lifestyle - not how another parent dictates. It becomes a power struggle between the parents and its also a "turn off" to get people even in the schools to volunteer because they have to deal with the "parental drama" some people feel the need to create because they have nothing better to do except keep a score card. My advice is do not ever let someone dictate to you what your capacity is in volunteering. Never explain your personal business at home to other people as its exactly that...PERSONAL BUSINESS! I would take this to your principal and let her know your concerns as I'm sure there are plenty of parents who feel the same. ALL parental involvement in school in ANY capacity is much appreciated and its also the key to making the school experience an awesome one for the children!

I’m curious-- is the teacher asking for volunteers to do these tasks? Moms and dads should only sign up for what they have time, interest and energy to do. If they feel bullied by the head room mom to do otherwise, they should speak to the teacher directly. I’m willing to bet the teacher does not have a clue of what’s happening behind the scenes.

Wow, how egotistical can these women be? I agree with every comment made. You do what you can, when you can. If the super volunteers don't like it..............ummm, in lieu of being censored, I'll just say to tell them it's none of their business how and when she should volunteer her time. Honestly though, I'd have a hard time being polite when I told them. And yes, it should be the school setting up the schedule, so I'd address it with them. But don't be surprised if someone that ignorant starts rumors or God knows what else

This is shameful! I volunteered for years for both of my kids' classes and never once did I think to get out a scorecard. It's not a competition...it's VOLUNTEERING. If you have more time than you know what to do with then by all means do as much as you can, but don't chastise those who can't put in as much time as you do. The joy I got was from helping the kids and lightening the teacher's load, not from making others feel bad. Some people have a lot on their plate at home and don't need to be bullied by a room mom. I just can't believe this is going on in our schools now....so sad!

I have a child who will be in third grade this fall. Last year we moved, both my husband and I started new jobs, and we re-located from another state. I would have loved to volunteer at his school for the field trips and other in-class activities. However, I was unable to do so. What I could do was send in the requested items for art projects and food drives. I was able to help him at home and make sure that he was caught up in his lessons and not falling behind. I was able to donate items to the classroom, but not my time. I applaud the parents who have the time to volunteer at their children's schools, however, all of us are not so lucky to have a spare three hours in the middle of the day!

Totally ridiculous. Actions like this show what their real reasons are for volunteering. It has nothing, sadly, to do with the school. Apparently lording over people like they own them is somehow tied into being passionate and involved in education. The sad part is that these actions will dissuade people from volunteering. They need to stop taking it out on the world that they are not satisfied in their own lives. That's exactly where this abusive nonsense comes from.

Wow! I'd love to be a stay-at-home mom and spend hours volunteering at my son's school. Unfortunately, that would mean he wouldn't have a home to live in or food to eat or supplies for school because I'm his only parent and I have to work to support us both. These 'volunteer police' need to get a life. Rather than using their time to pick on other parents, they could be volunteering at other worthwhile organizations.

As a SAHM who has done a lot of volunteering (kids will just be entering into kindergarten) I have to say that volunteering can be very demanding and at times, can have more "politics" than paid positions. Many times you find that once you volunteer, others just expect you to do the work or to take on more time. Whether a WAHM or a SAHM, time is precious. It is up to the individual how he/she wants to spend her time. Ideally, every parent would like to help out in any way that they can but in many cases it's simply not an option. The school should be happy with any time a parent has to volunteer and so should the "head mom". And pressure should not be put on a parent, ESPECIALLY by a "head" parent, to volunteer more. This head mom doesn't sound like a leader and certaintly would make me think twice about wanting to volunteer which is unfair to me, unfair to my kid and unfair to the teacher and the other children. To have a scorecard of volunteer time is unacceptable and should be brought to the attention of the head mom and if no response, the administration. It's not fair to those current volunteering who are receiving unneeded pressure and not fair to those who are not able to volunteer. I also firmly believe that a parent who volunteers in a school should have no hand in "teaching" children but rather aiding the teacher in what he/she needs with the class.

Some of these parents REALLY need to cut the apron strings too. I am all for volunteering and being in the school but how is your child going to be an independent learner when mommy aka "head" parent is at school 5 days a week. Is mommy going to college also when its time? Teachers need to put their foot down and say I run my classroom - not a "head" parent!

What's said is these women are teaching their children to be domineering bullies. Shame on everyone of them

Oops, that should read sad

I bet these "super moms" were the "mean girls" in High School. I hate mean girls. Do what you can and be happy with what you can do.

Playing devil's advocate a bit here, and keeping in mind that there are always two or more sides to every story...before deriding the head moms as "bored soccer moms", "volunteer police," and "domineering bullies," could we leave open the possibility that they are experiencing volunteer burnout? When a number of people sign up to volunteer, but the actual work always seems to fall on the shoulders of a few, it's understandable that those few might start to feel they are unfairly burdened. And in a school district that prides itself on its excellence and its community involvement, it's not unreasonable to have *some* expectations about how much parents should contribute through volunteering.

I wonder if this situation could have been avoided through better up-front communication. When the parents signed up to volunteer, were they asked to provide the number of hours they could commit and the days/times that were best for them? I've always appreciated the way the room moms for my kids break down the volunteering tasks at the beginning of the year, so we can sign up for those tasks that work best with our own particular schedules, and how they provide opportunities to volunteer for those of us who can't be there in person (like sending in the food for a class party).

Kate, while I do understand your point, I have to say that I currently am a member of 6 volunteer organizations, and lend some time to others that I do not actually belong to. I know all too well how there will be some folks that "talk big", but fail to come through. It's normal, I think, in any organization to have people volunteer, then not follow through. And yes, it's usually always they same group pulling the majority of the work. But, never in all my years of volunteering, have I or anyone else ever told or implied to anyone that they "weren't living up to expectations" or pulling their share. If you volunteer and show up great. If you can't commit or do and then don't show, we always seem to manage to get by with the people we have. Setting a "standard", especially when you're not even running the show is flat out ridiculous.

I volunteer at my children's schools and NEVER have been asked to be there for six hours per week. It just seems a bit much to ask. If there are woman who are bullying other moms into their rediculous standards of volunteerism, then the moms who are being bullied need to take a stand for sanity and change things. Attend a parent/teacher association meeting and voice your concerns. I hear a lot of complaining and no action being taken. Don't like the way something is? Change it. I love how people complain about things and somehow expect a problem to remedy itself. Your friend cannot be the only one who thinks these bully-moms are pushing it and need to be stopped. Be the one to stop them, you will be doing well-intentioned parents everywhere a favor.

Kate, I understand how committees work and the need to communicate. Without communication, nothing will ever be accomplished. Nabeha has a point. Unless those feeling pressured speak up, nothing will change. What confuses me about this whole situation is who's picking and scheduling the volunteers. Our sons are adults now, so granted it's been a long time since I volunteered at school. When I did, the teachers asked for volunteers and then set up a schedule with each parent who was available. So I guess until we know exactly who's calling the shots about this, maybe we've all spoken out of turn.

Forward the e-mails to the Principal and copy the Superintendent. The future for volunteers at the school is endangered as new parents will feel intimidated and may not want to get involved. Keeping a scorecard is not acceptable. The school administration should be made aware of this situation.

Unfortunately, with my own ears, I've heard derogatory comments made about people who don't volunteer. This group at my daughter's school was why I stopped attending the parent meetings. A former president once said "I don't see what the big deal is. EVERYONE can take one day off of work." I had to remind her that even in Orland Park, not EVERYONE even has sick days. Some people don't work, and they don't get paid. Or maybe they're saving their sick days for when their kids or they are SICK.

I was fortunate enough to volunteer a significant amount in my son's school during regular hours, but I would save the parties and such for parents who could only volunteer those days. When my daughter attended the same school, the curriculum changed, as did my work life, and I wasn't in the classroom as much, so I traded in for volunteering as a scout leader.

Volunteering should be all about what we can fit into our lives to make it richer for our kids AND us. The act should reflect our interest and our commitment, not a sense of drudgery. I'll happily pick up a little slack for those parents who cannot volunteer. I kind of feel it's my obligation to do so because I can, but I would never judge someone else because they can't.

Want to volunteer outside our your kids school? We can always use your help! If you are looking to help those in need, Good Days from Chronic Disease has a ton of volunteer opportunities. Help us help chronic disease sufferers! http://www.gooddaysfromcdf.org/